wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
