He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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