that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
