oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
