You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
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