I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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