The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
