First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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