Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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