it hurts more in the daytime
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
