i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
