you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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