Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
