Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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