dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
