The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
