Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Randomize
