his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
