Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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