I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
