I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
