We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
