Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
