I think im going to throw up on grandma
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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