We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
