.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So many bounce houses so little time
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
