Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
