dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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