when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
