brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
