I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
