i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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