she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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