would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
