What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
