Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
