I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
