And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
