I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
