Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Maybe he injected his testicle?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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