YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
