I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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