dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
