we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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