i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
