He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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