I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
