where am i from again
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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