i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
