whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
